Belonging begins with being known

What we found in the news

The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on social connection (opens in a new tab), released in May 2023, asks communities to give relationships a more deliberate place in everyday life. It brings together research on connection and health, alongside recommendations for families, organizations and public institutions.

One invitation in the opening letter stayed with us:

“Each of us can start now, in our own lives, by strengthening our connections and relationships.”

— Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, Surgeon General’s advisory, page 5

The report distinguishes the number and variety of our relationships, the support they provide, and how those relationships feel. It also calls on community organizations to create inclusive opportunities for people to connect. This is a broad evidence review and set of recommendations, not a trial showing that a particular welcome program reduces loneliness.

Why this matters to us

A room can be busy and still be difficult to enter. Imagine arriving at a community activity where everyone seems to know where to sit, what happens next and one another’s names. An open door is helpful. Someone looking up and making room can make the invitation feel real.

Our genus perspective is that belonging grows through these ordinary opportunities to be recognized. People deserve to be known for their interests, preferences and presence, as well as any support they receive. A person might be a keen gardener, a quiet observer or the neighbor who always asks a thoughtful question. They should have room to decide what they share.

This is our practical reading of the advisory. It does not mean every person wants more social contact, or that attendance tells us whether someone feels connected. The useful question is whether people have the kinds of relationships and opportunities they want.

Make the first few minutes easier

For a community center, volunteer group or neighborhood gathering, consider the experience from the arriving person’s point of view.

Before the visit, make the basics easy to find: what happens, whether there is a cost, how to get in, and whom to contact about access or other questions. Describe whether someone can simply watch before joining. A photograph of the entrance may answer something a cheerful slogan cannot.

At the gathering, offer a simple introduction rather than an unexpected announcement to the whole room. Ask what name the person prefers. Explain where things are and offer a choice of places to sit. An invitation to join a conversation should leave space for a comfortable no.

These are suggestions to try and adapt with participants, not a prescribed intervention. Ask someone who has recently joined what helped and what felt awkward. Their answer may reveal a small change you would otherwise miss.

Give the next visit some familiarity

Recognition can continue after the first hello. A consistent meeting time, a host people can contact and an explanation of what is happening next make the return visit less mysterious.

The people already attending can help shape that welcome, if they want to. Someone may enjoy introducing a new neighbor; someone else may prefer setting out materials or simply taking part. Belonging should never depend on accepting a volunteer role.

For families and friends, the same question can be useful: what would make joining easier for the person themselves? Ask before arranging company, and let their preferences guide the answer.

The genus connection

Today, the genusConnect Care App and public wall (opens in a new tab) provide ways for organizations to share information and resources, with events and conversations available within configured care communities.

A practical use is making the next activity and its useful details easier to find, then keeping agreed arrangements visible to the people involved. Features and access depend on the organization’s configuration. A clear invitation can support a welcome; the recognition comes from people.

One question to take away

When someone arrives for the first time, what helps them feel that there is a place for them here?