When helping a relative becomes a caregiving role

What we found in the news

AARP’s March 2023 report announcement (opens in a new tab) estimated the value of unpaid family care at $600 billion, representing 36 billion hours of care provided in 2021. The dates matter: these are estimates of 2021 contributions, published in 2023.

“Family caregivers are the backbone of long-term care in this country,”

— Susan Reinhard, AARP Public Policy Institute, March 8, 2023

That national estimate makes a large contribution visible. It does not tell us how any particular family should divide its responsibilities.

Why this matters to us

It might start with a lift to an appointment. Then there is a grocery order, a call to confirm a visit, or an evening spent working out what happens next. A relative may still describe all of this as simply helping someone they love.

At genus, we think recognizing that work can change the conversation. Naming a caregiving role need not change a relationship or turn family life into a checklist. It can create room to say: this takes time, these are my limits, and I could use some help.

Recognition also belongs to the person receiving support. They have preferences about what help they want, from whom, and when.

Notice what a normal week contains

Our suggestion is to begin with a short conversation, using ordinary language:

• What have we each taken on that others may not see?
• Which commitments fit our week, and which are becoming difficult?
• What does the person receiving help want us to keep, change or stop?

Try describing one recurring responsibility from beginning to end. Giving a lift may also mean arranging the time, changing a work shift and waiting for the return trip. Making those steps visible gives everyone a clearer starting point.

The aim is understanding, not scoring who does the most. Someone who cannot offer more time may still help the family explore another source of support.

The genus connection

Today, the genusConnect Care App (opens in a new tab) supports enabled conversations, events and tasks for invited community members. Features and access depend on the organization’s configuration.

These tools can give an agreed responsibility somewhere to live beyond one person’s memory. The connection to our mission is practical: make the people around care easier to reach and the next step easier to understand. A shared task cannot replace the time, services or human support a family needs.

One question to take away

What is one responsibility you have quietly taken on that your care circle needs to understand?